I started searching for God, and at one point I thought I had found Him, and "the way" to forgiveness and serenity. I had started counseling with a woman who called herself a christian. She was very kind and caring, and never charged me money for her advice. She always had a bible nearby, so I thought she was a christian lady, because of the love that she showed. Her compassion and sympathy towards me, caused me to desire those same characteristics in my own life. I was an open receptical at that point in my life, just waiting for something, (or anything) that would replace all the pain I was feeling. I was looking for something that was "spiritual," because I truly wanted to know God, and have what my older sister always told me about-- A personal friendship with God through Jesus Christ. We were raised to believe in God as children, and brought to different denominational churches, but no one had ever told me what it meant to have a personal relationship with God.
I did not know how to talk to God, or how to get to know Him, and I thought that this woman could help me learn to do that. Together we counseled, read books, and discussed them. Our sessions also included talking about the bible, but we never talked about the parts that say "ALL people sin" . We also prayed together alot, and she would call me at home to check in on me. She convinced me that I needed to further explore my feelings, and so I started meditating with her. Then, she took me further into the supernatural realm, experimenting with healing crystals (or spirit stones), using herbs and teas, and smoking marijuana to relax our minds. At that point, she told me I was ready to go through a "re-birthing," or a deeper kind of meditation technique that she would guide me through. This would also be a way to meet my "spirit guide", or "my higher self.". Our session began as a kind of breathing & cleansing exercise.
She was praying all types of prayers, and laying her hands on me, and referring to my "christ self." I felt as if a surge of power entered my body, and I really thought this was coming from God because it felt enlightening to my spirit. After a very long session with her one day, I felt as if I was in another realm. It was almost like I was floating in the heavenlies, when she said to me "look, here HE is!" When I looked up, I saw what I thought was Jesus Himself walking towards me, with His arms opened wide ready to embrace me. I was in absolute AWE that the Lord Himself would come to ME of all people. "Here it is, I thought, " just what I have been searching for. This "spirit guide" looked similar to what I would imagine Jesus to look like. He was surrounded by a halo of light, he carried a staff, and wore a robe and sandals. When he came towards me, I was actually lifted to my feet by him. He told me that I must forgive my enemies in order to go further with him, and I believed that Jesus Christ Himself had just spoken to me!!!
I rushed home afterwards to call my sister and tell her I had finally met the Lord, and knew what it meant to be born-again of the spirit. My sister questioned me intensely, and then let me know that she felt I had been deceived by an angel of light. "What happened to you is not from God," she said, and suggested that I read 2 Corinthians 11:14, which says that "satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." What I considered to be the most important thing that had ever happened to me, turned into even more confusion. I told my sister that she had had no right to tell me that what I had experienced was not from God. I was really thinking, what a self-righteous hypocrite she was. If that is what it means to be a christian, I didn't want any part of it.
At that point, my sister challenged me to test God, feeling certain that He would prove Himself to me if I was really seeking the truth to know Him. She knew satan and his disguised demons would have to flee, and stop confusing me. She also knew that God is NOT the author of confusion, and I was very confused and angry. At her suggestion, I decided to take a long walk down to the lake near my home. As I went towards a place called "the tressel", I yelled up towards the sky, saying things like "I don't even believe in You anymore." I arrogantly challenged God to prove Himself to me.
Then I sat down, and cried for a long time, until I felt an urge to lift my eyes and look up! Two beautiful bald eagles, flying side by side were coming towards me. They flew right over my head so close to me, that I could feel the wind from their wings. They soared over me together, and then flew back by me one more time before they disappeared down the shoreline. I was awestruck, and I knew that it had to be a sign from heaven. Excitedly, I ran to my car and drove home. I dug my old "Sunday school" bible out of a box, opened it up, and read down the page which nearly shouted out to me saying, "They who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I had opened the bible to the book of Isaiah, chapter 40:31. As I read on, I started to weep and tell God how sorry I was for being angry at Him. He instantly breathed new life into me, and I knew without a doubt, that I had met the real Jesus Christ that day. HE revealed Himself to me in the most personal way possible, and gave to me a very unique salvation experience. It was so simple, yet at the same time so profound. I still, to this day, feel very "personally" blessed by Him. I shall never forget, and will forever cherish that life-changing experience.
The bible says in the book of Matthew, chapter 7 "ask and you shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened." This world can lead you astray, people will deceive you, the devil can blind you to the truth, and the "new age" movement is an old lie that wants to confuse you even more than you already may be. It teaches that everything is God, God is in everything, and we can be like God. It is very deceiving and alluring, but Jesus Christ is faithful and totally in control of everything.
God almighty sent those two bald eagles to fly by me that day. He knew exactly what I would need that day to ask for forgiveness, and surrender my heart to Him. What an awesome God we serve!
This story is only the beginning of my wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ. My marriage did not end up in a divorce court, because God is faithful to finish the work He has started. I believe that someday, when the time is right, my entire family will also experience that "wind from heaven," and soar on wings like eagles. When this comes to pass, all the glory and honor shall belong to Jesus Christ alone. He alone is worthy to be honored and praised for this testimony!!!