Agreement with God. To begin with, if you are seeking the truth, you have already been touched by the Holy Spirit. One of the purposes of the Holy Spirit is to bring conviction of sin.
The first message Christ gave was one of repentance. Through the Holy Spirit, we have been given an awareness that homosexuality is not pleasing to God (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). So the first step is to agree with God that homosexual activities are sin.
Receiving Jesus Christ. John 1:12 gives us the next step: "To all who received him [Jesus Christ], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." In order for Jesus to work in our lives, we must not only agree with him that homosexuality is sin, but we must trust in him for the forgiveness of all of our sins, including homosexuality.
The Bible says that, "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). Jesus Christ was crucified--nailed to a cross until death--for our sins. He died in our place: "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). When we trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, God looks upon us as if we'd lived the same perfect life that Jesus lived. That's God's grace. No matter what activities you've been involved in, God offers you his forgiveness.
After receiving Christ, we enter into a love relationship with him...the God of the universe. This is an eternal relationship and we no longer have to worry and wonder how we are going to know him--he will reveal himself to us daily in many ways. We are now his child.
A New Life. Upon receiving Christ, God says that we become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). He changes us on the inside and gives us new desires. We find ourselves making decisions to live a more upright life. We experience a new freedom to say "no," with a motivation to please God. Satisfying our sexual urges becomes secondary. God brings new priorities into our life--living according to the truth, living with self-respect, living with greater concern for others' welfare, living a less self-centered life.
Also, God gives us a peace we never had before. This doesn't mean a "rose garden" from God or from the world. We will pass through many struggles and the change may come painfully at times and may be very gradual. However, we are not struggling alone. In the midst of our troubles, we have the peace of Christ in our hearts.
This peace is something the world knows nothing about--only someone who belongs to Christ can know the comfort of his peace. Through Christ living within us, we become adequate for any trial. He asks that we give all of our anxiety over to him, because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).
Submission to Christ. In spite of the change God will bring in our life, we still have a will that often will want to slip back into our "pre-Christ" ways. Therefore, the height of victory over homosexuality is directly related to our willingness to submit ourselves completely to God.
To experience the most abundant life, we must relinquish all control of our life to God's love and power. Our own plans and desires must come second to God's plans and desires for us. To come out of homosexuality, we must be submitted to Jesus Christ as our Lord, and we must do this on a daily basis.
Many people, after a length of time, believe that they are sufficiently out of homosexuality to once again take control of their life. This is a serious error--the commitment we make to Christ is for life. When we take back control of our life, we ask for trouble. The results can often be disastrous.
Role of the Church. Once we enter into a relationship with Christ, we become part of his body, the church. As part of a body of many members, we are interdependent with others. That means attending a church. Admittedly, many people have had painful experiences with the church, yet we must be involved in the lives of others, and allow others to be involved in our life, in order to grow.
No body of believers will be perfect and there will be things that we don't like. Still, we must join a church and become a productive part of that body of people. Therefore, contact an ex-gay ministry who can suggest a good church in your area.
Christ speaks to us in many ways, including through his Word (the Bible) and through others who know him. If we are not involved in a church, we will be missing many messages that he has for us, as well as the privilege and joy of being a blessing to someone else.
Talking with God. If you don't know how to talk with God, follow the example set forth in the Disciples' Prayer (often called the Lord's Prayer; Matthew 6:9ff), which the context shows to be a daily prayer.
Thank God for his goodness, for his mercy, for him being your Father. Understand that he is worthy of your complete trust. Ask that his will would be done in your life. Ask him for your needs. Ask him for forgiveness for your going astray and not listening to him. Ask forgiveness for your treatment of others.
Ask for his protection against temptations and whatever strong feelings come your way. Close your prayer again with praise and thankfulness. Whatever you ask of God the Father, ask in the name of Jesus Christ (John 15:16).
The Word of God. Experience the benefits of obedience to Christ. To do this, we must be familiar with his Word. Start by reading the book of John in the New Testament. Then try reading one of Paul's letters, such as the book of Ephesians. As you begin to study God's Word, start by asking him to reveal to you what you need to hear from it.
The Bible will be your road map to a new life. Use it and study it. Set aside time every day for prayer and Bible study. God is faithful. Do your part, and he will do his. Reading his Word will allow you to grow closer to him day by day.
God created you for a purpose, and is able to bring wholeness, a sense of rightness, and fulfillment to your life. And he is the only one who can accomplish that full depth of transformation. Allow God the opportunity to enter your life. Receive his forgiveness. Know his love.
The following is a suggested prayer (the words aren't as important as is the attitude of your heart):
God, I confess my sin to you. Thank you Jesus, for taking all of my sin upon yourself on the cross. I want to receive your forgiveness. I want to enter into a relationship with you. I ask you to come into my life right now. I want you to make me into the person you created me to be.
If you have just asked him into your life, we would like to send you helpful information about the depth of God's love for you.